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While everyone else is doing their Year in Review lists, I thought it might be nice to once again poke fun at the low points of the past year and the people who made them happen.

10. The Demise of the Penguin

Pretty much anyone reading this is familiar with the Silver Spring Penguin and what it did for hyperlocal coverage of Silver Spring. Jen Deseo went to countless boring meetings, tweeted her frustrations, and then provided us with thoughtful stories that got down to the who, where, when, why and how. We were all sad to see her go, but she headed north for more metropolitan pastures.

For those of you who don’t know, the Penguin family has expanded, and Jen is now running a couple of other sites (when not mothering): The Hyperlocalist blog and the Question the Wisdom tumblr site. Our loss, her gain. And without mentioning any names, at least she didn’t try to maintain a local blog here after she had moved to another city.

9. Mayorga No More

The much-loved coffee shop pulled up their Silver Spring roots for greener pastures in Takoma Park, citing nearby construction woes, poor parking arrangements, and a general lack of business.

This was one of the sadder closings in the area, as I’d much rather stop by there for coffee than go to Starbucks or Highlands. Added bonus: booze.

8. The Fracturing of the Prune

Okay. So I only went into The Fractured Prune twice, and neither of those times resulted in the purchase of a donut. But that’s a perfect location for the likes of a Dunkin Donuts or, better yet, Krispy Kreme. That hot donuts sign is like a red beacon of hope when times are dim.

7. Buy Books, Not Bridges

My disdain for the library bridge people runs deep. Wanting the bridge is one thing. Harping and harping on it even after the County Council has given it the axe is something else. These bozos even had a presence in the 2009 Silver Spring Thanksgiving Parade. I made fun of them more than I mocked the Takoma Park Attachment Parenting folks in the the July 4th parade in the People’s Republic of Takoma Park. And “Access for All”? Puh-leez. I like this sign much better. And the retailers who display the signs in their windows have no idea that they’re promoting getting people off the streets and away from their storefronts. Let’s hope this thing dies a quick and painless death once and for all in 2011.

6. ESSCA

While we’re on the subject, I’ll remind you that my venerable civic association voted to endorse the bridge even after the county had killed it. This vocal minority, composed mainly of old white people who purport to know what is best for the community, can provide entertainment equivalent to a vaudeville show while forcing you to stem the bleeding from your ears all at one time. If you don’t believe me, head on over to the Silgo Recreation Center on the third Monday of each month. That’ll learn you.

Stay Tuned…
Part 2 will be hitting the Interwebs tomorrow.

Caught a new show on Discovery recently called Brew Masters that focuses on the exploits of Sam Calagione, the founder of Dogfish Head Brewery, and his merry band of brewmeisters. The first episode, which aired last Sunday, followed the process of developing Bitch’s Brew, a tribute to the 40th anniversary the Miles Davis record. Part of that recipe included research of African – in this case, Ethiopian – ingredients. For that, what better place to go than Fenton Street?

Caught a few screenshots on TiVo, and I’m a bit disappointed that they said they were “headed down to the DC area” without an actual mention of Silver Spring.

Nice to see the ‘hood on a national show at any rate. More information on the show can be found here.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

Thanks for the Brains

As you have no doubt heard, this year’s Zombie Walk (minus the broken window at Afrikutz) was a huge success. We’ll be updating the web site with links to all the media attention. In particular, we have this great piece from the Post Express and a short feature from the Washington Post. And from our staple photographer, Chip Py, here is one of my favorite photos of the night. (Thanks, Jackie!) There’s also a great post from Cynthia Cotte Griffiths on What’s So Special About the Zombie Walk. Thanks to everyone involved.

And yes, we still have shirts!
Remaining Zombie Walk t-shirts will be for sale at this Saturday’s Fenton Street Market (or FSM for you Pastafarians) on Veteran’s Plaza. Proceeds, as well as the two remaining donated gift cards that went unawarded, will go to the MCPD Santa Walk, benefiting the Children’s Inn at NIH.

Pharmspring

Pyramid Atlantic’s Artspring store has finally taken over the old pharmacy spot across from Whole Foods.

It’s certainly a smaller space than what they had before, but there’s a lot of good stuff. I hope they continue to get the foot traffic they used to get.

Silver Spring Library Book Sale

This Saturday is full of stuff, including the book (and bake) sale at the Silver Spring Library from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm. We’ll certainly go, but if anyone who tries to sell me on the library bridge again, I may go postal.

Hope you’re staying dry and not driving around today. Between bus collisions and flooded streets, we all should have stayed in bed. If you believe the reports, we might make up our rainfall deficit for the year within this 24-hour period.

Take Back Day

I expect you all took advantage of the National “Take Back Day” to return all your expired prescription drugs. Silver Spring, of course, was directed to a dropoff point in Bethesda. A friend of mine lives over there, and someone asked her what school she was going to send her kids to (assuming a choice of private institutions). Her response: “Um, the free one? That’s why I moved to this school district. The only thing the private schools get are better drugs.” Now we know how. Plus, my guess is that the density of percocet per capita in that area in probably higher. The needs of the many, I suppose…

News from The People’s Republic

The Annual Takoma Park Street Festival is this Sunday in Old Town. And now you can even take your beer and wine home from your favorite sit-down establishment. I understand that the city was founded by Seventh Day Adventists and all, and many think that this is the first step to the downfall of The Republic. (In a matter of days, drunks will be lining the streets until all hours. Just you watch. They’re already being inundated with idiot drug dealers.) Still no action on actually allowing retail beer and wine sales. Seems to me that attitudes like that perpetuate the perception of downtown Takoma as an “abject failure.” (Not my words. Just listen to last week’s Kojo Show from Silver Spring.)

And you all are welcome to continue coming to Silver Spring to drink and buy booze. Thanks for the revenue.

From the Stage

Guitarist and Jazz Pioneer Leon Redbone will be at the Performing Arts Center of Montgomery College (at Georgia & East-West Hwy) tomorrow, October 1. Tickets ($35, $25 for students/seniors) are available at Tickets.com or 240-567-5775.

Hang up and Drive

Or at least get a hands-free device. Starting tomorrow, Maryland law makes it so. According to the Communications Traffic Safety Act of 2010:

Prohibiting a driver of a motor vehicle that is in motion from using the driver’s hands to use a handheld telephone except to initiate or terminate a wireless call or to turn on or off the handheld phone; providing that a violation of the Act may be enforced only as a secondary violation; establishing penalties of $40 for a first offense and $100 for a second offense; prohibiting a driver of a school vehicle or a holder of an instructional permit or provisional driver’s license from using a handheld phone while driving; etc.

Octoberfest is here!

It’s the first weekend in October, and you know what that means: Another excuse to drink beer. Washington Post’s Going Out Gurus have an extensive list of places to celebrate, but feel free to create your own. I know I will. And it will coincide with Alabama kicking the shit out of Florida Saturday night. Cheers!

I know that the arcane liquor laws imposed by the Montgomery County Department of Liquor Control have made it difficult for smaller establishments to open and serve alcohol. Rumor has it that’s why many of the places in the downtown area are larger chains: they have the legal infrastructure to navigate such obstacles. Whether or not that’s actually true, I’m not sure, but it seems to make sense. Then we get to the other places of business that don’t serve alcohol…

Enter: Our venerable Jeebus Chevron. While I’ve derided its political leanings in the past, I have to say I owe the Chevron station (on Georgia, just south of the beltway) and its staff a debt of gratitude. I had a state car inspection issue (concerning taillights) that had to be resolved quickly. The Shell station across the street wanted me to make an appointment for early the next morning and wait in line for a matter that could be fixed in five minutes. I went to the Chevron station, and they came out, walked around the car, and after a few minutes I had signed paperwork and was on my way. Great service.

But advertising that Montgomery County is bad for business? Is it a political ploy given the heavy left-leaning Council or a legitimate gripe? Both are certainly possible. Ask any developer what a pain in the ass it is to get projects approved (leaving aside problems that organizations like my venerable ESSCA cause) and you may get some similar complaints.

Also, a couple of weeks ago a veil of secrecy was put over the sign (Shroud of Petrol?) with an accompanying message saying “Boycotting BP Stations Just Hurts Local Businesses.” Is this a precursor to a change in affiliation for the gas station? I agree with the sentiment of the message, but what a timing snafu for the shift if that was the case.

In Other News…
The new toy store on Fenton Street has a great selection of video games and other miscellaneous toys, but my daughter and I were both thoroughly creeped out by the Kookys.

Caveat emptor, indeed.

It appears there are some problems with permanent residency declarations at the Thayer Avenue Safeway. I always get the creeps when I walk through the underground garage, but now it appears as if people are taking to sleeping in cars.

Yes, it actually has a “NO TRESPASSING” sign and says “NO SLEEPING” on the back window. One would think that locking the doors would be an easier solution. Maybe we can call this the Sleeping Safeway from here on out.

In Other News…
From the looks of this story in the Washington Post, I don’t think the photo below, which I took during Snowpocalypse I on December 19, 2009 (at the aforementioned Thayer Avenue Safeway), was an accurate representation of actual usage. Or the stocks really dwindled too far below demand.

Thanks to BMSTT for the No Sleeping photo.

I have no idea why “signs” has been a predominant theme recently, but here we are again. Someone has been canvassing the neighborhoods – a large swath between Sligo Ave and Takoma Ave, including Chicago and Philadelphia – and pulling up signs, leaning them against fences, bending them over, taking them, etc. Then the kicker: the bozo leaves a note, supposedly from the MoCo Department of Permitting, about whatever rules and regulations the person is breaking. (If anyone has a copy of this little memo, I’d love to see it.)

Further investigation reveals that this is not the work of the County but of some unnamed Sign Vigilante. Some of the actual regulations (which contradict some of the vigilante’s rules) include:

• You do NOT need a permit to put political signs in your yard.
• You can LEAVE THEM UP UNTIL AFTER THE ELECTION IN NOVEMBER – the 30 day rule does NOT apply to political signs.
• The signs must be set back 5 feet from the property line.
• The total area of all signs must not exceed 10 square feet. Depending on the size of the signs, it is equal to 2-3 standard political signs.
• No sign can be over 5′ tall.
• Signs cannot be illuminated.

If you want more information, contact Susan Scalademley, Dept of Permitting 240 777-6255.

Makes me want to put up a big lit billboard in my front yard dedicated to some cause. Perhaps an homage to His Noodly Appendage. And if you really want to find out who’s doing this, you can follow this guy’s lead from back in 2004 during the general election.

Or as some will call it, Silver Spring Civic Building at Veterans Plaza.

While the name rivals the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in absurdity (and length), the building is looking mighty impressive. Before we go any further, I, for one, will *not* be using this name, except in this post and occasionally in mockery for one reason or another. I will now (affectionately) refer to it as “The Box” with the area in front of it being “The Plaza” (or “The Area Formerly Known as The Turf”). I feel this is only a natural progression from The Promenade to the west. I recommend you adopt this vernacular as well. Unless you’re one of the “historical” people, in which case “The Box Formerly Known as The Armory” is also acceptable.

Don’t get me wrong: I really like the building. And today, you can get inside and see it for yourself. It’ll be an afternoon of music, dance, and other entertainment, followed by an official opening ceremony. Schedule is thus:

• 2:00 to 2:30: GapBuster’s NAACP-SO Gold Medal Winners: Singer Melissa Blue (Blake High School) and Guitarist Delano Broad Water (Bethesda Chevy Chase High School
• 2:30 to 3:00: Truth
• 3:00 to 3:30: Truu Soul
• 3:30 to 4:00: Jonny Grave
• 4:00 to 4:30: Hey Day Players & Mighty Shock
• 4:30 to 5:00: Los Charlys Nativos
• 5:00 to 5:30: Contradiction Dance
• 5:30 to 6:00: The Memphis Gold Band featuring Charlie Sayles
• 6:00 to 6:30: Washington Revels

At 6:30 pm, Montgomery County Executive Ike Leggett will preside over a inaugural ceremony ribbon cutting, after which the public will be invited to enter The Box and see the new space. The Downtown Silver Spring site has even posted a handy virtual walkthrough, complete with goofy stand-in people.

I’m surprised some boneheaded group hasn’t lobbied for a pedestrian bridge from the parking garage at Fenton and Ellsworth.

Hope to see you there!

First of all, I know things have been quiet here. But beyond restaurant openings and such, there’s just not that much I care to write about. Plus, when ESSCA is out of session there’s less fodder for ridicule. I do love the listserv, though.

For example: A 24-hour laundromat is going in at the old TOTAS location on Fenton, and someone on the list was concerned about it being open 24 hours – presumably because, you know, crime might happen. Like the crime-ridden (not) 24-hour 7-11 or the Greyhound bus station right nearby. Oh – and for those of you who don’t have enough to complain about, El Cafe Caracol on Sligo Ave plays loud music at night. And there may or may not be a constant drone from the air handlers on top of Silver Spring Towers that keeps some people up at night. Welcome to the ESSCA listserv.

In other news…

Thayer Avenue WSSC Work

Basically, they’re about to come in and rip shit up like they did on Georgia Avenue. But they were much nicer about it. If you didn’t get the notice…

We’re happy to advise you that we will be rehabilitating the water main infrastructure in your neighborhood. This letter provides you with important information about the upcoming construction.

Work began on or before June 7 and completion estimate is August 11, 2011. Ouch.

For the record…
I, for one, will not boycott the 9:30 Club. I just went to see OK Go there last month, and as long as Seth puts on great shows, I’ll go. His problem? Once the Fillmore is built, I will certainly go to 9:30 less often. Something he’s just going to have to deal with. This is a minor blip, as far as I’m concerned.

And one more thing (UPDATE)
Some woman going by the name of Cynthia is panhandling on Thayer Avenue. She went knocking on people’s doors after midnight on Monday saying her boyfriend hit her and she needed cab fare to Germantown. And evidently she also made some other offers for moneymaking that weren’t so timid. Police were looking for her but no word yet on whether or not she was picked up.

Never forget those who sacrificed everything so we could enjoy the lives we live today.