ThayerAvenue.com

It’s unfortunate (perhaps) that all my posts recently have been a mishmash of short things, but after April 10, my life will begin returning to normal. More on that after the fact.

Goodbye, Mr. Heston
Can we have that gun, now?

Hook and Ladder Wins Beer Madness Tourney
As if there wasn’t enough reason to be excited about Hook & Ladder opening up a brewpub here, they went and won the Washington Post Beer Madness Tournament. From the article:

Their Backdraft Brown, this year’s Beer Madness champion, is an American-style brown ale with a chocolate caramel sweetness from the specialty malts, balanced by a splash of citrusy Cascase hops. The Fleischer brothers donate a portion of the proceeds to groups that help burn victims: a penny per pint, a quarter per case, and $4 from every keg sold! If we needed an additional reason to drink their beer, this is an admirable one.

Congratulations to Hook & Ladder! Meanwhile, in my March Madness brackets, I picked UCLA over North Carolina in the finals. Damn.

Urinate. But if you were better looking you’d be a 10.
There’s been some concern/hilarity on the listserv lately, depending on what side of the fence you’re on (literally). Someone has been urinating in soda bottles and leaving them in odd places – in people’s yards, dropped over fences, sitting by the curb.

I get my fair share of crap in the yard. Living on a main thoroughfare between stops for the 20 bus, there’s always plenty of bottles, bags, garbage, etc. And if it came down to urine-filled Gatorade bottles, I’d be hesitant to post it to the listserv for discussion. But thanks to those with the chutzpah to do so for the humor.

Live Nation Update
As reported on Silver Spring, Singular, among other places, some of us got together with Ted Mankin of Live Nation to see what the company had in store for The Fillmore Silver Spring. First off, this is NOT a done deal. If you’re for this deal, I urge you to actively support it. Ted will be answering questions for the general public at the Lee Building on April 8. Help make this happen.

And for all you bozos that think the Silver Spring Blogosphere is a mouthpiece for the Live Nation movement, please take take a trip down to 9:30 or The Birchmere and have another cool glass of STFU. I want music sooner rather than later, and I think this is the right ship to be on. Period. Get behind it or get your folk-song-singing-NIMBY-lovin’ ass out of the way.

The Washington Post (specifically, the Going Out Gurus) are reporting that the Wheaton Mall complex Westfield Shoppingtown Wheaton is getting a Montgomery Cinema ‘N’ Drafthouse. It will be slightly larger than its Arlington sister at 32,000 square feet and will show a variety of films – including first run films (at $8.50 – $9), some middle-of-the-road films (for $6 and under), and will even offer $1 movie nights from time to time.

The current P & G Theater will close in April and re-emerge in “late summer” as the Montgomery Cinema & Drafthouse. And in addition to movies, the facility will have stand-up comedy and broadcast sports events, among other things.

All that having been said, I’d still rather go to AFI to see a movie and forego the truant-ridden Wheaton area. Ever since El Pollo Rico burned down, I’ve had no reason to trek up there (and, frankly, less of a reason for being).

Speaking of theaters…
I got an email a short time ago from someone who had their purse emptied during a movie at our esteemed Majestic Theater. It must have been a real stealth operation, as the perp got into the purse, took out the cash, and returned the wallet to its normal place with credit cards and such intact. Keep your eyes peeled.

And back on the subject of beer…
If any of our friends at the Hook & Ladder Brewery are listening, I encourage you to email me. We’re all looking forward to the opening and I’m more than happy to shill for you guys as time draws nigh.

As many are trying to prevent some sort of Scott Farcas Affair from erupting between Live Nation and IMP (9:30 Club), we now have a new group of idiots saying that, and I quote:

“…we are disappointed in County Executive Ike Leggett in NOT closing the deal with the owners of The Birchmere and instead, behind closed doors, signing a letter of intent with Live Nation before making it publicly known that he was considering proposals from other promotion companies.”

This is from a Web site that says they are “NOT ANTI ‘LIVE NATION’ AS A COMPANY” (with a big [sic] on the ALL CAPS stupidity), yet their domain name distinctly indicates otherwise. I will not do them the honor of repeating their domain name here, but as of this writing the only supporter listed on their site is IFI Music, and there are not yet any “Supporters [sic] Comments” in that eponymous section.

I did a WHO IS search to see who owns the domain name, and whoever it is made the domain registration private. So I assume they don’t want the public to know who’s behind it. All I can think of is the comment from the Silver Spring Penguin on the Silver Spring, Singular blog that says:

However, one middle-aged woman tore into council member Phil Andrews immediately after the gig [at the AFI], saying that the Birchmere would have been better suited to the neighborhood.

“What were you thinking?!?” she yelled at Andrews.

I know what he was thinking. He was thinking that the music venue should have a broader appeal to the community – particularly to those younger people who are coming into the city in droves with more disposable income than her. How you like them apples?

I’m going to guess that this site is run by some outdated hippy who plays guitar in a local folk band, and their specialty is somewhere between the Mamas and the Papas and The Carpenters. They’re too old to understand that you should pay for a proper Web site if you want any credibility (the site is a free, templated site from GoDaddy.com – meaning there are ads all over it and, aesthetically, it sucks), and they still haven’t learned that if Mama Cass had given Karen Carpenter that ham sandwich, they might both be alive today to play at The Birchmere (which will be built shortly in College Park). I expect someone to post this URL soon, and even if it’s as a comment on this site, that’s fine. I just can’t bring myself to do it.

Harsh, you say? Perhaps. But true. The Birchmere is gone. Those of you who know me know I just want live music here. When The Birchmere was coming, I thought it was grand. When Live Nation came into the mix, I thought it was even better. When Seth Hurwitz stuck his nose into the mix, I got angry because I assumed it would prolong the process of getting a good live music venue here. Now these people send out their site to the community bitching and moaning about how Ike hosed The Birchmere? 2006 called, and they want their development deal back. Get over it.

The last several shows I’ve been to included Neko Case, Martha Wainwright, The Reverend Horton Heat, and Rob Zombie/Ozzie Osbourne. My tastes run the gamut, so it’s not about genre (except new country). Just shut the hell up and build me a live music venue.

On a different and much happier note…
Thank God the Patriots didn’t win. I’m not Giants fan, but I’d have much rather seen Eli get the MVP trophy than that other guy. More power to ‘em all. And thanks to K & N for a kick ass party, even though I didn’t win any squares.

As many of you have probably heard, and as reported in the Washington Post, our County Executive inked a deal Friday with Live Nation to secure The Fillmore at the old JC Penney building on Colesville Road. Thank heavens. I hope all the bitching and moaning and gnashing of teeth will stop.

But you and I both know that’s not going to happen. People on the lilstserv are already saying “it’s not a done deal yet” or “I’m already scared to walk to Whole Foods on a Saturday night.” Oh, please. You think we’re going to get a music venue and the neighborhood’s going to go to shit? If that’s going to be your perception, then I can’t help you. No one can. You can continue to fear change or roll with it – it’s your call.

I, for one, am totally psyched. And if Seth Hurwitz is listening: Yes, this means I won’t be spending as much money to go to your little 9:30 Club. Sure, I’ll go see the Rev. (among others) when he comes, but I hope this puts the kibosh on IMP’s comlaints, too.

Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take this opportunity to say just how wonderful our great County Executive is. Ike Leggett is about the best administrator a county could hope for. He’s tackling the tough problems with the budget, bringing great entertainment venues to the area, and putting the smackdown on the (formerly) Duncan Library because Douggie tried to steal our money.

Thank you, Mr. County Executive. And please remember this post when you’re deciding what to do with those 6 tickets you get to every show at The Fillmore.

Sincerely,
Your Friends at Thayer Avenue

In an attempt to find out more information about William Thayer, our eponymous Washington, DC, merchant/benefactor, I came upon a fantastic find:

This is a screenshot from the 1984 laserdisc adventure game Thayer’s Quest. Thayer was an apprentice magician searching for five magical relics that form the “Hand of Quoid” before Sorsabal, the eeeevil wizard, can get his grimy paws on them and solidify his reign over the five kingdoms.

The game is similar to the very popular Dragon’s Lair of the day, which very nearly put me into 4th-grade bankruptcy, thanks to the Carousel Roller Rink’s after-school skate every Thursday. Unlike Dragon’s Lair, though, the player had more complete control over the character’s movements and, sadly, the game was incomplete. Thayer could only visit three of the five kingdoms, and the game was scrapped before the sequel with the two additional adventures was released.

In 1996/97, a CD-based version was released for both PC and Mac under the name Kingdom: The Far Reaches. Unfortunately, Thayer’s name was changed to Lathan Candor (and the eeeevil wizard Sorsabal became Torlok). Somehow, 2005 saw the re-release of Thayer’s Quest as a DVD video game, and I have been given a new goal in life.

So to sum up:

• “Lathan Candor” will become my new alter ego.
• Sorsabal will be the new nickname of that “bonifant more sinister than thayer” joker.
• William Thayer doesn’t have enough online-accessible material written about him. (Jerry? Where are you? How about some updated information at sshistory.org?)
• It’s time to redo my basement and start my video game collection. (The image you see here appears to be from a conversion/build kit. It is my destiny to own it.)

If anyone wants to donate to the cause, feel free. We’ll have tournaments every other weekend.

I’ll reiterate what I said when the Birchmere deal went south: I want live music here. Birchmere, Live Nation, IMP – whatever. Now a lot more brouhaha has been raised with Seth Hurwitz’s recent letters to Ike Leggett.

I talked with Audrey Schaefer of IMP this morning, and they’re still very much looking to get in and talk with the Council. Why not? Nothing has been signed. As a matter of fact, there is one statement in bold on the letter of intent with Live Nation:

This letter of intent is for discussion purposes only and does not contain all of the material business or legal terms of the proposed transaction and is merely intended only as a basis for preparation of a lease between Live Nation and the County and subsequent to negotiation by the parties. It should be understood that the parties mutually intend that neither shall have any binding contractual obligation or liability to the other regarding this matter…

Blah blah blah. Ultimately, she says this means that there is no legal basis for the County *not* to entertain other offers. Also according to Ms Shaefer, Live Nation’s rent would be equivalent to $2.82 per square foot for the facility. IMP offered to double that (from $7,500/mo to $15,000/mo). The going rate for space in DTSS is somewhere between $20 and $50 per sq. ft. Then remove the $2 million subsidy that IMP declined. Sounds like it’s an offer that at least worth entertaining.

To be fair, Ms Shaefer said that their one mistake was not approaching the County sooner. The justification is that MoCo had been in (on-again, off-again) negotiations with The Birchmere for so long, IMP assumed that was the sort of venue the County wanted (sit-down-and-eat-while-you-listen-to-show-type thing). Out of respect for the Birchmere, they wanted to give them the opportunity to work things out. I’m fine with that. Now The Birchmere is going to the Flaming Sofa Capital of the World, and we have an empty warehouse.

The people at IMP also seem to understand the area a little better – seeing as how they all live around here (many in MoCo itself). Regarding the venue, Ms Shaefer adds: “We think of it as the people’s place. It’s the people’s money and we want what they want. Montgomery County has a very active citizenry, and we know there will be input from the community.”

Having said all this, I’m not advocating a blind transition to contract negotiations with IMP. But they can at least be heard and seriously considered, right? What’s the harm in that? If you feel that way, please contact the Montgomery County Council and/or County Executive Leggett himself.

On a related note: You know how our Founding Fathers created the Electoral College because they thought the general public was too stupid to be trusted with electing their leaders directly by popular vote? (We can discuss the implications of that in 2000 and 2004 another time.) When the idea of the community submitting names for the Silver Spring Music Hall came up, the recommednation of a multi-judge panel for review and final say came along with it. Thank heavens.

And while I like some of the music at Austin Grill, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m going to 9:30 next week for the Rev. Horton Heat (which I do EVERY year), and I like the idea of another “9:30″ club within walking distance, but I think Mr. Hurwitz should have thrown his hat into the ring a long time ago. A few thoughts and concerns about the whole mishegas:

Live Nation Acts
In part of his diatribe, Hurwitz/IMP claims that acts that come to The Fillmore will mirror national programming/tours. Really? I thought there would be a variety of acts coming in. And what about the availability Live Nation promised for community events? Seems to me that IMP’s Merriweather Post Pavilion mirrors that exact same M.O.

“Nation” is Closed
He puts this up there like Live Nation can’t keep a club open. I enjoyed my times at Nation (Thursday Leather Night anyone?), but I got two words for you: baseball stadium.

Community Input on Scheduling Acts
This sounds like a great idea, but as Silver Spring, Singular wrote, that would actually be a nightmare. And it’s the only meeting I would attend regularly if only to thwack down all the people who would try to recreate The Birchmere by proxy.

Food
Now on this, Hurwitz has me. I would like a kitchen in there. Otherwise I’m gonna have to go by The Quarry House and grab some tots before every show.

Most Important: THE NAME
Silver Spring Music Hall? BO-RING. Can’t we think of something better? I’d love to hear your thoughts, but in the meantime, here are some of mine:

1. 86 – It is, after all, the 8600 block of Colesville
2. Nation – Homage to the destructed, and a big finger to The Fillmore parent
3. Club Sligo – And no, Singular, I don’t mean you
4. SHIT – Seth Hurwitz Independent Theater
5. Thayer Hall – For obvious reasons, my favorite

Just a few starters, as my brain is fried. Will update a final list in a new post once everyone has had their say. If Seth wants to do this, he better do it right.

UPDATE: I spoke with Audrey Shaefer from IMP this morning and am very much of the mindset that this needs to be opened up for further discussion. More to come on this subject later in the day…

The upcoming “Ike and Marilyn Show” on County Cable Montgomery (as reported by the Silver Spring Penguin) really got me thinking. At the Magical Montgomery shin dig, I noticed County Cable Montgomery had a booth, and I almost went up and asked them (much to the chagrin of my family) about getting my own cable access show. Now it’s time to get serious.

In the fine tradition of shows like Goth Talk, Jarret’s Room, and Wake Up Wakefield, I’m convinced ThayerAvenue.com could create a cable access show that would appeal far beyond the confines of “The Ave,” East Silver Spring, and even Montgomery County. How, you ask?

The answer is simple: Programming. Here’s just small sample of the hard-hitting topics and breakaway segments that could warrant discussion on what we will refer to, for now, as “TATV” (Thayer Avenue Television).

CCM Smackdown
County Cable Montgomery presents “Ike & Marylin” vs. TATV. Two shows enter, one show leaves. Maybe we can get a Gary Stith/Mel Tull combo to serve as Master Blaster. I’ll leave it to you to guess which is which.

“People-on-the-Ave” (POTA) Interviews
I can imagine the thought-provoking questions posed to Jane and John Q. Thayer on the way to and from the metro:

• Do you live on Thayer Avenue?
• Why can’t you just walk down Bonifant instead?
• Do you like Gladiator movies?
• Will you kiss me for a dollar?

Speed Bump Watch
I’ve seen some people on the listserv lately ask about the process of having speedbumps (or “traffic calming devices”) installed on their streets. The biggest issue is that they are the bane of emergency vehicles, and they sometimes don’t even do a very good job of slowing people down. While concrete proof of this might be elusive, I propose a recurring segment where we try out each of the speedbumps in the neighborhood (starting on Thayer Ave, of course) at high speeds to see what happens.

Do you really have to slow down? What’s the max speed at which the speed bump can be taken? Is it possible to chip grooves out of it in the middle of the night to facilitate even more speed? If anyone has a car they would like to donate to the cause, please contact me.

NIMBY Knowhow
What does it take to stop all development in my immediate area? How can I graduate from NIMBY to CAVE or BANANA status? All your questions get answered. And in dire times, viewers will be selected at random from a pre-arranged pool to serve as human shields tied to trees and signposts.

Crime Report
Everyone wants to know who shot who and why. We’ll delve into the grim underbelly in East Silver Spring and set booby traps for the punks opening unlocked car doors in the middle of the night to steal loose change. I swear, if I ever find that person, I’m going to beat him to a pulp and rip out his heart with a spoon.

Local Guests
Jerry McCoy of the Silver Spring Historical Society will give a detailed tutorial on eBay bid sniping. Silver Spring, Singular will reprogram the entire AFI Winter Lineup. And in special “Know Your Councilmember” editions, we’ll systematically reprogram our local representatives’ musical tastes to bring in the likes of Skid Row, Whitesnake, White Lion, and Ratt for a series of concerts at the upcoming (and hoping-to-be-built) Fillmore.

Mondays with Murray
My wife has a fascination with Murray Horwitz of the AFI Silver Theater. So I thought it would be great to invite Murray over and have him reprise various roles from Ain’t Misbehavin’, relive his days as a clown in the Ringling Bros. Circus, and tell us about his infamous Kojak appearance and why he never carries his Diners Club card.

What’s going into Shitty City Place?
An omnipresent question in DTSS retail development, this weekly segment/game that would compile a list of potential retailers that would be a good fit for the “Mall That Could Do No Right.” The leading contenders to-date: Williams Sonoma, Bed Bath & Beyond, and Merry-Go-Round.

Whew! That’s a lot. Even with a half-hour show, we’d have a lot of space to fill, and this just scratches the surface. So what would you, the reader/viewer like to see? It’s your tax money – might as well be well-spent. Start contacting your County Council representatives today and tell them, “I want my TATV!”

Real Estate in MoCo
This morning on the Today Show, Matt Lauer was talking to a couple of guests about the dramatic drop in home sales. Unfortunately you can’t see it online until after 11:00am (I assume because of our West Coast Gangsta friends), so this is a loose recollection of the conversation. One guest said, “Whatever you do, don’t buy a house.” Matt, in his infinite wisdom, responded by asking about the fact that so many fo the real estate issues are local, and some markets aren’t as bad. The response: “Okay, Matt. Maybe Seattle, 10005 (Manhattan), and Montgomery County, Maryland would be the only places I would buy anything.”

They love us! They really love us!

UPDATE: MSNBC has posted the video.

Rock for Renovation
The Old Blair Auditorium Project is os putting on a “Rock for Renovation” Benefit Concert this Saturday, September 29, from 7-10pm featuring Featuring Derek James (from NYC), The Fighting Janes, Neil Foley (Irish Fiddle), and Blair High School’s InToneNation (a cappella singing). That last one almost sounds like a local incarnation of Jazz Times 10, the omnipresent band on SNL’s “Wake Up Wakefield.” Man, nothing gets me out of a funk faster than Jazz Times 10 going klezmer.

Doug Who?
Who does Doug Duncan think he is, anyway? Trying to nab funding from Montgomery County to help build The Birchmere in College Park? I would have expected more from him. Thankfully, we have a County Executive who won’t let that happen and a Governor on our side:

Leggett raised the issue yesterday in a meeting with O’Malley (D). Afterward, Leggett spokesman Patrick Lacefield said, “We are wholly unconcerned about the future of the project.” O’Malley spokesman Rick Abbruzzese said the governor told Leggett “that he would follow his lead on the important revitalization efforts taking place.”

Looks like they’ll tweak the language in the legislation to make sure the money stays where it should.

Magical Montgomery
As if there wasn’t enough to do this weekend, Magical Montgomery Cultural Fair is coming back on Saturday from 1-7pm.

As reported just about everywhere, The Birchmere appears to have inked a deal with College Park, and Live Nation is putting in a Fillmore in DTSS. How long have The Birchmere folks been talking to College Park? To Doug Duncan? Since before they and their supporters became incredulous at the breakdown in negotiations?

The bigger question is: Who cares? I don’t. If the Fillmore gets built, I will have gotten my wish. And the details of the Fillmore deal indicate a 500-person seating capacity, with 2,000 fitting in sans furniture. I think that can satisfy multiple groups.

I also saw some banter about the fact that Clear Channel owns The Fillmore. Yes, they are evil. No, I don’t listen to traditional radio (other than NPR) because of companies like them. (Long live Radio Paradise!) Yes, I think the payola people should be jailed and beaten. But you you know what? As long as they bring good acts on a regular schedule and make ticket prices somewhat accessible (as much as, say, 9:30), I don’t care if Clear Channel owns the venue. Quit bitching and either listen to the music or don’t. Buy a ticket or don’t. Or drive your happy ass to College Park and take in some sensitive-acoustic-folk-rock.

I also agree with Silver Spring, Singular that we should sell Prince George’s County our Birchmere banners and recoup some out-of-pocket costs.

Now for Something Completely Different
I left work after a morning meeting and spent most of my day yesterday playing Halo 3. Add me to what the Washington Post is calling “a Toll on the Worforce.”