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Silver Spring Extraterrestial Affairs Commission

I Want To BelieveA confluence of events has led me to believe Silver Spring has much bigger problems than a purple line, pee in a bottle, or the potential for rampant folk music.

Recently, Silver Spring, Singular has wondered aloud at the history of UFOs flying over our fair (unincorporated) city, and last week, a Denver man proposed an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission – 18-member group that would form a strategy “dealing with issues related to the presence of extraterrestrial beings on Earth.” 54-year-old Denver resident Jeff Peckman has to get 4,000 signatures to get his proposal on the ballot for the Colorado-based commission.

Ladies and gentlemen, I want to be your Jeff Peckman.

As our yearning County Council feedback has looked to the mundane – public transit, saving dilapidated buildings because of their “historicality,” and whether Joni Mitchell or White Lion could fill a Silver Spring music club faster – I think it’s time we look to the future.

We are but passengers on this third stone from the sun, subject to the whims of the universe and, potentially, alien overlords. What’s our plan? If they come, where will they go? I’d be happy to accompany them to the current Final Cut of Blade Runner at AFI. But I would think they’d have bigger plans.

While I’m sure our esteemed federal government has a plan, I feel it’d be rife with violence and overblown Department of Defense contracts. We need real people in a real place to show these visitors what life is really like here, and I think getting the motion in front of the County Council is just the way to go.

Who’s with me?

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16 Comments so far

  1. Eric May 12th, 2008 1:57 pm

    More rationale from Mr. Peckman himself:

    “It is important because if you’re driving down the highway and you saw a crash of a small spaceship and a car or a bus full of kids, you really wouldn’t know what to do,” Peckman said Thursday. “Do you wait for the hazardous materials experts to show up because of potential contaminants from another solar system? What do you do? People really don’t know.”

    And they say Denver is the drunkest city in America.

  2. Sligo May 12th, 2008 2:29 pm

    Speaking of unexplained phenomena, supposedly the house next to mine is haunted. Supposedly.

  3. Eric May 12th, 2008 2:37 pm

    There’s gotta be some reason for it not to have sold. I say we get Ghosthunters in there.

  4. Sligo May 12th, 2008 2:43 pm

    It did finally sell a couple weeks ago.

  5. Invisigoth May 13th, 2008 7:25 am

    Thank you for that image! Looks a lot like Fox Mulder’s office poster! And isn’t “I Want to Believe” the name of the new X-Files film, due in theaters July 25? We do not need an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission. But we do need to make a strong showing during the film’s opening weekend. If it is at AFI or the Majestic, we can all just scurry down there.
    PS-I think Invisigoth was an alias of Esther somebody, the geek in “Kill Switch,” one of the very best X-Files episodes.

  6. Eric May 13th, 2008 8:21 am

    When I have my own room where I can put all my stuff, I’ll have this poster hanging on the wall. And a fish tank with a little UFO that bobbles up and down with the air bubbles. Great to see another fellow X-Phile on the loose!

    I think the full title of the movie is “The X-Files: I Want to Believe.” Interesting X-Files Fact: Doug Hutchison (Eugene Tooms) now plays Horace Goodspeed on LOST. And Michael Emerson (Benjamin Linus) from LOST was Oliver Martin on the X-Files Brady Bunch episode!

  7. Boris May 13th, 2008 8:25 am

    very nice idea (X-files here we come) I support your idea for a civilian set of directives in response to the alien visit. Very funny indeed, can people who do not live in Silver Spring sign the petition?? You got my signature. I’ll get my friend who lives in Silver to sing it. hehe

  8. klaatu May 13th, 2008 8:36 am

    I was down at the park the other day and these two very weird gals were having this really weird conversation:

    1: Yeah, I know they teach you how to stand a certain way, but it’s not efficient use of the architecture.

    2: Well, I wasn’t supposed to be incarnated as a female anyway.

    1: You’ll just have to get used to it.

    2: How do these people stand it?

    1: Humans? They’re born that way so it’s not as if they know any different.

    Wow, Takoma Park explained at last! Body-snatcher space creatures took over and the hippies were so stoned they didn’t even notice.

    Be on the lookout for trucks full of Pods, everyone. And remember, “they get you while you sleep”.

    “… and all of my co workers call me Spooky…”

    “Allright Spooky, I’m cutting you off, you’ve had enough to drink.”

  9. Eric May 13th, 2008 8:45 am

    My favorite: “Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.”

  10. Sligo May 13th, 2008 8:54 am

    Also, remember that Terry O’Quinn (Lost’s Locke) got blowed up at the beginning of the X-Files movie.

  11. Eric May 13th, 2008 8:59 am

    Awww, yeah. On top of the Millennium crossover, too.

  12. Springvale Roader May 14th, 2008 10:07 am

    I’d love to discuss all this with you, but that Russian flat worm guy is backing up my drain again. Gotta go!

  13. Bonifant More Sinister than Thayer May 14th, 2008 12:03 pm

    The flat worm of which you speak was, technically, a fluke.

    EVERYBODY GO SEE BLADE RUNNER AT AFI!!! SPECTACULAR.

  14. Thayer Ave., too May 14th, 2008 9:50 pm

    Wasn’t that the premise of that great show “Third Rock from the Sun”– that they were aliens in human bodies, and were just getting used to all the stuff like sneezing and hormones and gender roles? Really, it just makes sense to have somebody designated to explain all this stuff when the aliens land. (Preferably NOT my sixth grade P.E./health class teacher, who was supposed to explain it all to us, but instead we just ended up having to square dance to “Thriller.”)

    And Eugene Tooms was the CREEPIEST X-Files villain ever. Ever. I couldn’t take a bath for a month after he slimed his way in through Scully’s bathtub spout.

  15. Eric May 15th, 2008 10:14 am

    Hey! It’s even been Vatican Approved!

  16. Invisigoth May 19th, 2008 2:39 pm

    http://www.xfiles.com/ Official X-Files film trailer here. I didn’t watch, I want to be totally surprised. I am soooo looking forward to this…